10 Marriage Quotes That Are Funny You’ll Forget Why You Were Ever Mad

marriage quotes that are funny

10 Marriage Quotes That Are Funny You’ll Forget Why You Were Ever Mad

I take you… to have and to hold…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part…

Oh Marriage.

Marriage is a serious commitment. A sacred life event. The unity of love between 2 people. So when you say; “I do,” you better really mean I DO. Because divorce ain’t cheap!


This next part is a little history about me so stick with me. I’ll get to my point, I PROMISE!

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I love my husband, although he’s the grouchiest person in all the land, he never seizes to remind me of how I’m always willing to give up when I’m giving up. He’s not wrong. So, when he said the words; “I do,” he meant it and was really committed to loving me.

I took that into consideration. I know that sounds kind of cold, but marriage was never a part of my life goals. Actually, it’s obvious I didn’t even have any life goals, but I just never thought of marriage as most people do. I always thought it was just a certificate.

I soon realized that it wasn’t. It’s more than that because when you’re married it’s a lot harder to abort ship than when you’re just in a relationship.

So, it’s not the first time I’ve been told that I always give up. My dad always told me the same thing. He hated putting me in sports, etc, because I always end up quitting.

I quit my high school education, and college thereafter, majority of my jobs, majority of my relationships. I would literally just AWOL.

I’m not kidding…

and then I got serious with my husband. He taught me how to grow up and to be an adult. I respect him for that because he’s always looking out for me and my kids’ future. I wouldn’t have been the nurse I am today if it wasn’t for him.

Now, whenever we fight, I still do have the tendency to say eff this i’m out! But it’s always out of anger and now I just learned to do something else to relieve me of that anger before I go and do something that i’ll regret.

Now to my point…

Pinterest, Instagram, and Google are my virtual venting buddies. As a mother, a wife, and a healthcare worker, it makes me sane.

Does anyone else here ever turn to the web to amplify your mood or feelings? It’s like venting to someone that really understands you. Even more so, that you have control over what you want to see and hear because you’re the one looking it up. They’re always available no matter the time of day. They don’t talk back and always say what you want to hear. Way better than venting to a person.

Um, hello? A venting app? Nah

Sometimes I turn to the web and even do the exact opposite, which makes me look totally INSANE. I’ll be angry one second, crying the next, and then laughing 30 minutes after. Am I the only one?

Related Post: 11 Mom Life Quotes That Prove We Are Overworked, Scary, A Forgetful Mess, And Not Alone

I hope not because that would definitely confirm my insanity.

Back to my point.

I learned to turn to the web. A few days ago I was frustrated and angry so much that I had to consult my virtual venting buddies. They never seize to disappoint. After doing so, I decided to compile a list of my favorite funny marriage quotes that made me forget that I was ever mad and will make you forget why you were ever mad too.

That it is until you’re done reading this and see your husband again.

Joke.

10 Marriage Quotes


1. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.” -www.Ultraupdates.com

husband wife funny quotes
“well..you said
Photo by Mason Hassoun on Unsplash

2. “My husband thinks i’m crazy, but i’m not the one who married me.” -www.lovethispic.com

funny marriage quotes
“…”
Photo by JJ Jordan on Unsplash

3. “Note to husband- Your dinner’s in the recipe book page 32. And, the ingredients are at the store.” -www.quotesgram.com

funny quotes about marriage
Like a BOSS!
Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

4. “Sometimes I wonder how I put up with you. Then I remember, oh, you put up with me. So we’re even.” -www.someecards.com

funny sayings about marriage
“up top!”
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

5. “A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.” -www.quotesgram.com

funny quotes marriage
Totally not okay!
Photo by Gayatri Malhotra on Unsplash

6. “I’m so glad we’re going to grow old together and you’ll always have a head start. -www.Kingtumblr.com

grow old together
Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

7. “When i’m mad at my husband, but he brings me food.” -www.sayingimages.com

funny quotes for husband
“OINK!”
Photo by Laura Anderson on Unsplash

8. “Marriage is a 3 ring circus. Engagement ring, wedding ring, and Suffering.” -www.iliketoquote.com

marriage humor quotes
I tried to continue the “ring” but I came out empty-handed
Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

9. “I don’t have a “honey-do” list. I have a “I’ll fricken do it myself” list. And guess what? $#!+ gets done.” -www.someecards.com

funny husband quotes
Fact: I had to look up how to write the S word in symbol form.
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

10. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” -Will Ferrell

getting married quotes funny
“I got BAMBOOZLED!” jk
I love you David.
Photo by Dmitry Ulitin on Unsplas

So there you have it! 10 of my favorite marriage quotes that are funny it made me forget that I was ever mad. That cat up top though.

10 marriage quotes that are funny you'll forget you were ever mad
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